spoon theory and adhd
why we expend all our executive functioning capabilities on work, and how to stop
How many of you with ADHD struggle with overworking? (leave me a comment below!) Well today we’re going to talk about spoon theory, and I hope this helps provide some clarity on why a lot of us tend to be workaholics.
Spoon theory was coined by writer Christine Miserandino in 2003 as a metaphor for how living with lupus impacts her ability to complete daily tasks. It applies not just to physical ailments, but also to mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety disorders or types of neurodivergence like ADHD or ASD. The idea is that you start each day with a certain number of spoons, and each task uses up spoons. Depending on the day, showering may take one spoon. Or it might take three. Every day is a balancing act of trying not to exhaust too many spoons on one activity and prioritizing where our spoons go.
I’ve been thinking a lot about spoon theory recently as an ADHD’er and, admittedly, a workaholic. It started when I watched this video by Jessica from the Youtube channel How to ADHD.
I had an “aha” moment hearing Jessica say that while writing her book, she struggled to prioritize anything else because society values being good at work and school. As ADHD’ers, we’re often taken more seriously if we can prove that we function within a capitalistic society. This repetitive feedback loop often starts when you’re young. For example, I’ve always had my own struggles with academics, but I tested well and was able to pull together large projects at the last minute (at the cost of my physical and emotional wellbeing). When we receive constant praise in these situations, we continue to allocate way too many spoons to academics or to work, and we neglect our hobbies, life skills (I embarrassingly don’t know how to cook, ride a bike, swim, or drive but hopefully sharing that helps someone else feel less ashamed), and basic personal upkeep.
The first thing to fly out the window when I get into an overworking spell is the state of my apartment and the quality of the food I eat. Because we as neurodivergent individuals have been taught that we should use every last spoon to get work done on a neurotypical timeline. And that’s not ok.
I don’t have perfect advice on how to stop because this is something I still struggle with regularly. However, I think being aware of why we do what we do without shaming ourselves is the first step, so I hope I could provide that for you.